Friday, October 31, 2008
Happy Halloween!
My little man was a cowboy this year. I originally wanted him to be a convict, but when I went to order the costume they were sold out. It worked out for the best, because he looked so darn handsome as a cowboy. I passed out candy to the kids while Joey walked with him. Let's just say he was home within 20 minutes of walking. He kept telling Joey, "I wanna go to my house daddy". Will loves to be home, he gets it honest :) I hope you enjoy these pictures!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Family
Last weekend, I went to Graceville to visit my family. My sister, Shannon, and her family went up also. My dad was happy to have his five children, their spouses, and the grandchildren all together at the same time. My daddy is a family man, and I love that about him.
My step mom, Teresa, planned the entire weekend, and she did a great job! On Saturday, we went to the parade (Will's first parade)then went to the Fall Festival. Will had such a good time on all the big inflatables! It was so great watching him run around and make his own decisions. He is getting so big.
Saturday afternoon, we all carpooled to Panama City Beach to have family pictures. We all wore jeans and white, button down, collared shirts. The photographer took over 100 pictures and I hope to share them with you soon.
It was a really nice weekend,especially getting to see my brothers son. He and his wife tried for many years, and finally the Lord blessed them with Riley Thomas Horton on May 4, 2008. Riley was born on his mothers birthday...what a wonderful birthday gift he was to both of them.
Here are some pictures of the weekend, I hope you enjoy :)
Riley Horton, 6 months old
Jeff & Riley
Will and cousin Anna Grace tailgating at the parade
Cousins: Sierra, Will, Riley & Anna Grace
My step mom, Teresa, planned the entire weekend, and she did a great job! On Saturday, we went to the parade (Will's first parade)then went to the Fall Festival. Will had such a good time on all the big inflatables! It was so great watching him run around and make his own decisions. He is getting so big.
Saturday afternoon, we all carpooled to Panama City Beach to have family pictures. We all wore jeans and white, button down, collared shirts. The photographer took over 100 pictures and I hope to share them with you soon.
It was a really nice weekend,especially getting to see my brothers son. He and his wife tried for many years, and finally the Lord blessed them with Riley Thomas Horton on May 4, 2008. Riley was born on his mothers birthday...what a wonderful birthday gift he was to both of them.
Here are some pictures of the weekend, I hope you enjoy :)
Riley Horton, 6 months old
Jeff & Riley
Will and cousin Anna Grace tailgating at the parade
Cousins: Sierra, Will, Riley & Anna Grace
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
His Yellow Blanket
For those of you that don't know, tomorrow (Wednesday October 15) is the National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day. So I decided to use this blog to tell of my story...please bare with me as I tend to type the way I talk. So if it's grammatically incorrect, I apologize in advance...this will probably be long.
In September 2004, Joey and I became pregnant with our very first baby. Joey was in Georgia hunting with his family and I had purchased a few pregnancy tests earlier that day. It was late evening and I was about to take a hot bath. I did what I had to do for the test, then set it on the side of the tub. I got into the bath and my cell started ringing...it was Joey calling. As he talked, I looked at the test and recognized the positive sign indicating that I was indeed pregnant. I interrupted him and said "Are you ready to be a daddy". He said, "Are you serious" (with excitement) and we were so happy! We were ready to be parents.
I soon set up an appointment to meet Dr. Moffit for the first time, and to make sure they would take me on as a new patient. The appointment went well. Our baby looked like a peanut but had a strong heartbeat. We were told our baby was due July 1st 2005. When I left they gave me an ultra-sound picture, a care package consisting of neat goodies, and a single red rose. They told me they'd see me back at my 12 week appt. Again, we were so happy.
I have to stop to tell you this. Joey's family ALWAYS has thier (immediate family) Christmas "get-together" around the 3rd week in December. But for some reason, work schedules caused us to push it to the first week in December. We were in Georgia for the occasion. Joey's nanny gave a gift to us for our baby. It was a yellow blanket. I remember thinking, "Ok, I will probably never use this one but...ok". it wasn't one that I would have picked out, and it was more like a comforter than a blanket. And yellow was certainly not the color I wanted the baby's room to be! The baby also got a Georigia Bulldog pacifier and some other UGA stuff. Anyway, back to the story....
On December 14th 2005, I left work and headed to the doc appt. for my 12 week check-up. I told Joey not to worry about coming. He worked in Ocala and I didn't want him to drive that far for a 15 minute check-up.
As they always do, the nurse checked my BP, iron, urine, etc. before I went into my room. I sat there and waited, wondering what my baby would look like at this point in the pregnany. Dr. Wood came in and asked how I was doing/feeling and all that good stuff. She then asked me to lay back, and she began using the machine on my stomach. She moved it all over my stomach, and said nothing. She then decided to use the "wand" to check me. She said that sometimes the baby can still be low and better detected that way. So then they checked me again. She found the baby and she measured him. He was not moving, and didn't have a heartbeat. She asked me to get dressed and said she'd be right back in. When she came in, she said that I had lost the baby. He measured to be around 8 weeks (10 weeks in baby terms). And remember, I was at my 12 week appointment. I had carried him 2 weeks after I lost him, and my body didn't give me any indication.
I didn't cry at first. I didn't know what to say. Dr. Wood had me drive over to Lake Medical Imaging "just to make sure". I did. And they were sure too. I still had not cried.
I then had to drive over to the Day Surgery building to set up my D&C that would be performed the next morning. I broke a little when I had to sit in front of a nice woman to answer questions. Remember...I was alone. I still had not called anyone. Not even Joey. I knew I had these things to do and I knew I needed to be strong and not broken.
When it was all said and done...I called Joey. His first question was, "Well, how did it go" and I broke...I broke hard. Between tears I said, "I'm not pregnant anymore". I then told him everything and asked him to call my mom and sister, and his parents. I was still in shock. The rest of the day was a blur. I remember Joey came home from work, and we just went to bed and went to sleep. it was easier to deal with that way.
On December 15th 2004, Joey and I headed to LRMC for my surgery. We had to be there at 6:30am. As we walked in I thought how ironic it was that I would walk in with a baby inside of me, and walk out in a few hours and that baby would be gone. And it wasn't my choice.
Finally, around 8am, the nurse took me to the room where I would have the D&C. When I awoke from the surgery, I immediately asked the nurse, "what was the baby's sex?" She replied to me, "Honey, it was just tissue". Tissue? She said it gentle but it hit hard. It was more than tissue, my baby had a heartbeat, I saw it! I have a black and white picture of him!
One week after the surgery, I received a phone call from Dr. Wood. She said they had sent a tissue sample to the lab and she believes I had a "molar pregnancy". She then said I would have to wait 6 months before I could try to get pregnant again. She also said that I would need to go once a week to Quest Diagnostics to get my blood drawn. She wanted to make sure my levels were going down and not up. I guess a molar pregnany can trick your body into believing you are still pregnant. So for 6 weeks, I did this. And my heart hurt everytime. There was always a different tech. drawing my blood. Each time, they thought they were drawing blood to determine where I was in my pregnancy. And each time I had to explain myself. So my healing process was like a roller coaster.
Molar pregnancy defined: http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/pregnancyloss/a/aa072599.htm
If I did indeed have a molar pregnancy, it was a "partial mole". You will need to read over the link above to understand.
So that's really it. That's my story. Joey and I lost the first little person that God gave us. Why did God take him? I will never know. But I do know this. Our baby was a boy. I know this in my heart because God revealed it to me in a dream. He did so because I prayed, and asked him to please show me. I had to know what my baby would have been! Thank you God, for answering that prayer.
Around Christmas time, I wanted to get an ornament to hang on our tree to represent the life we lost. But I never got around to it. When I got back to work, just after Christmas, there was a gift on my desk. I opened the box and found a crystal ornament, and it had blue in the center. It was perfect! That ornament means so much more than the giver will ever know. And she gave me this ornament months before my dream. But even then...I knew my baby would have been a boy. Having the Lord's confirmation was such a blessing.
Last thing before I close. Why is my blog titled His Yellow Blanket? Well, to this day, that yellow balnket is Will's favorite blanket. Will chose it, I didn't force it on him, remember...I didn't even like it. He absolutely loves that blanket. It wasn't bought for him, but he has claimed it. He sleeps with it every night, and loves to rub the tag.
Time has healed my wound. Will has healed that wound. But I will always remember that I have a baby boy in Heaven. And one day I will hold him in my arms, and maybe, just maybe, Will might let me use his yellow blanket...
In September 2004, Joey and I became pregnant with our very first baby. Joey was in Georgia hunting with his family and I had purchased a few pregnancy tests earlier that day. It was late evening and I was about to take a hot bath. I did what I had to do for the test, then set it on the side of the tub. I got into the bath and my cell started ringing...it was Joey calling. As he talked, I looked at the test and recognized the positive sign indicating that I was indeed pregnant. I interrupted him and said "Are you ready to be a daddy". He said, "Are you serious" (with excitement) and we were so happy! We were ready to be parents.
I soon set up an appointment to meet Dr. Moffit for the first time, and to make sure they would take me on as a new patient. The appointment went well. Our baby looked like a peanut but had a strong heartbeat. We were told our baby was due July 1st 2005. When I left they gave me an ultra-sound picture, a care package consisting of neat goodies, and a single red rose. They told me they'd see me back at my 12 week appt. Again, we were so happy.
I have to stop to tell you this. Joey's family ALWAYS has thier (immediate family) Christmas "get-together" around the 3rd week in December. But for some reason, work schedules caused us to push it to the first week in December. We were in Georgia for the occasion. Joey's nanny gave a gift to us for our baby. It was a yellow blanket. I remember thinking, "Ok, I will probably never use this one but...ok". it wasn't one that I would have picked out, and it was more like a comforter than a blanket. And yellow was certainly not the color I wanted the baby's room to be! The baby also got a Georigia Bulldog pacifier and some other UGA stuff. Anyway, back to the story....
On December 14th 2005, I left work and headed to the doc appt. for my 12 week check-up. I told Joey not to worry about coming. He worked in Ocala and I didn't want him to drive that far for a 15 minute check-up.
As they always do, the nurse checked my BP, iron, urine, etc. before I went into my room. I sat there and waited, wondering what my baby would look like at this point in the pregnany. Dr. Wood came in and asked how I was doing/feeling and all that good stuff. She then asked me to lay back, and she began using the machine on my stomach. She moved it all over my stomach, and said nothing. She then decided to use the "wand" to check me. She said that sometimes the baby can still be low and better detected that way. So then they checked me again. She found the baby and she measured him. He was not moving, and didn't have a heartbeat. She asked me to get dressed and said she'd be right back in. When she came in, she said that I had lost the baby. He measured to be around 8 weeks (10 weeks in baby terms). And remember, I was at my 12 week appointment. I had carried him 2 weeks after I lost him, and my body didn't give me any indication.
I didn't cry at first. I didn't know what to say. Dr. Wood had me drive over to Lake Medical Imaging "just to make sure". I did. And they were sure too. I still had not cried.
I then had to drive over to the Day Surgery building to set up my D&C that would be performed the next morning. I broke a little when I had to sit in front of a nice woman to answer questions. Remember...I was alone. I still had not called anyone. Not even Joey. I knew I had these things to do and I knew I needed to be strong and not broken.
When it was all said and done...I called Joey. His first question was, "Well, how did it go" and I broke...I broke hard. Between tears I said, "I'm not pregnant anymore". I then told him everything and asked him to call my mom and sister, and his parents. I was still in shock. The rest of the day was a blur. I remember Joey came home from work, and we just went to bed and went to sleep. it was easier to deal with that way.
On December 15th 2004, Joey and I headed to LRMC for my surgery. We had to be there at 6:30am. As we walked in I thought how ironic it was that I would walk in with a baby inside of me, and walk out in a few hours and that baby would be gone. And it wasn't my choice.
Finally, around 8am, the nurse took me to the room where I would have the D&C. When I awoke from the surgery, I immediately asked the nurse, "what was the baby's sex?" She replied to me, "Honey, it was just tissue". Tissue? She said it gentle but it hit hard. It was more than tissue, my baby had a heartbeat, I saw it! I have a black and white picture of him!
One week after the surgery, I received a phone call from Dr. Wood. She said they had sent a tissue sample to the lab and she believes I had a "molar pregnancy". She then said I would have to wait 6 months before I could try to get pregnant again. She also said that I would need to go once a week to Quest Diagnostics to get my blood drawn. She wanted to make sure my levels were going down and not up. I guess a molar pregnany can trick your body into believing you are still pregnant. So for 6 weeks, I did this. And my heart hurt everytime. There was always a different tech. drawing my blood. Each time, they thought they were drawing blood to determine where I was in my pregnancy. And each time I had to explain myself. So my healing process was like a roller coaster.
Molar pregnancy defined: http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/pregnancyloss/a/aa072599.htm
If I did indeed have a molar pregnancy, it was a "partial mole". You will need to read over the link above to understand.
So that's really it. That's my story. Joey and I lost the first little person that God gave us. Why did God take him? I will never know. But I do know this. Our baby was a boy. I know this in my heart because God revealed it to me in a dream. He did so because I prayed, and asked him to please show me. I had to know what my baby would have been! Thank you God, for answering that prayer.
Around Christmas time, I wanted to get an ornament to hang on our tree to represent the life we lost. But I never got around to it. When I got back to work, just after Christmas, there was a gift on my desk. I opened the box and found a crystal ornament, and it had blue in the center. It was perfect! That ornament means so much more than the giver will ever know. And she gave me this ornament months before my dream. But even then...I knew my baby would have been a boy. Having the Lord's confirmation was such a blessing.
Last thing before I close. Why is my blog titled His Yellow Blanket? Well, to this day, that yellow balnket is Will's favorite blanket. Will chose it, I didn't force it on him, remember...I didn't even like it. He absolutely loves that blanket. It wasn't bought for him, but he has claimed it. He sleeps with it every night, and loves to rub the tag.
Time has healed my wound. Will has healed that wound. But I will always remember that I have a baby boy in Heaven. And one day I will hold him in my arms, and maybe, just maybe, Will might let me use his yellow blanket...
Saturday, October 4, 2008
2 Things 2 Share
Today, Joey's parents took Will, along with Scott and his 3 girls to the Sanford Zoo. So here are some pictures from thier day...doesn't everything look different through the eyes of a child?
I wanted to also give you an update. Remember my request for prayer? Well the Lord has given us favor! Everything is just as we needed it to be! Thank you so much for your prayers!
I wanted to also give you an update. Remember my request for prayer? Well the Lord has given us favor! Everything is just as we needed it to be! Thank you so much for your prayers!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
What a difference a day can make
Tuesday was a difficult day for me. My patience was tested (unlike it has ever been tested since I've started teaching) and I actually didn't enjoy my job. I questioned everything that day. I thought..."Is this really the right class for me...do I have what it takes? Am I cut out for this?" I woke up on Wednesday and said to myself..."If I go to work today, I won't be a good teacher. If I take a "mental day off" then I will be good for another few months." Joey had already taken Will to Amy's house by the time I had decided I would take the day off. So at 9am, I crawled back into bed and slept until almost 11am. It felt great! And I felt so much better. I really needed a break. I needed a few extra hours of uninterrupted rest. What a difference rest can make! What a difference a day can make.
Today was a good day. I was back into action and happy to be the teacher of my particular class. Was my patience tested today? Absolutely! But with a clear mindset, it's amazing how we can handle difficult situations. Saying that reminds me of yesterday's Oprah. If you watched it, you know exactly what I mean.
Actually, overall, this has been a great week. It's Homecoming week! We have had dress up days all week...remember those? This year they were: Star look alike day/ Tacky Dress or Gender Bender/ Hawaiian Day/Favorite Team Day/ WHS Pride Day. The kids at WHS have done a great job all week participating. You should have seen all the guys dressed in heels and gowns. It was a blast to see. That's why I love being at the high school, especially during Homecoming week. Man how I miss those days! Although it seems like I was there yesterday, it's been over 13 years. How did the years go by so fast?
I hope you enjoy the music playing. This was my "class song". The class of 95. (Boyz II Men, Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday)
If I only knew then, what I know now. What a difference a day can make...
Today was a good day. I was back into action and happy to be the teacher of my particular class. Was my patience tested today? Absolutely! But with a clear mindset, it's amazing how we can handle difficult situations. Saying that reminds me of yesterday's Oprah. If you watched it, you know exactly what I mean.
Actually, overall, this has been a great week. It's Homecoming week! We have had dress up days all week...remember those? This year they were: Star look alike day/ Tacky Dress or Gender Bender/ Hawaiian Day/Favorite Team Day/ WHS Pride Day. The kids at WHS have done a great job all week participating. You should have seen all the guys dressed in heels and gowns. It was a blast to see. That's why I love being at the high school, especially during Homecoming week. Man how I miss those days! Although it seems like I was there yesterday, it's been over 13 years. How did the years go by so fast?
I hope you enjoy the music playing. This was my "class song". The class of 95. (Boyz II Men, Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday)
If I only knew then, what I know now. What a difference a day can make...
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