I have a secret to tell....

I wasn't sure if I would blog about this. To be honest, it's something I have thought about off and on for a few years. This will come as shocking to many...especially to you Cyndi. Trust me when I say, I have shared this with very few people (Joey, my mom, my classroom aide). I have not kept this secret for any reason. I just choose to not talk about it.

Ok here goes...I have been thinking seriously about becoming a surrogate mother. Why?! Well...I really don't know why to be honest. Maybe God plants these thoughts into our hearts. All I can tell you is this...I'm seriously thinking about this. So much so that I have become a member of a surrogate mother website. I have even received a reply from someone in central Florida who is looking for a surrogate.

So what does this mean? Well, basically my body would be a place for someone else's baby to grow. This would not be my baby. I would provide the womb, the nurturing, and the "intended parents" with a baby they couldn't have conceived on their own. Some surrogates allow for the intended parents to use their (mine) egg, but the sperm would come from the "intended father". So technically, this baby would genetically be half mine. I couldn't do that. But I would allow a fertilized egg (not my egg) to be transplanted in me in hopes that the result would be....well a baby.

I have thought about this over and over. I have not prayed deeply about it though...not yet anyway. There is a chance that women from the surrogate mother website are reading this, so I have to make sure I'm completely honest about my thoughts. I actually just learned last night about how many surrogates allow the intended parents to use their egg. So I was a bit discouraged about that. I would love to help someone, but I can't give them a baby that is partially mine. So that's why I would do this if the egg was donated. I wouldn't want the baby genetically tied to me in any way. Does this make sense?

On the website, I have explained that I am currently pregnant, and how I wouldn't be ready until January 2010. So I truly have given this alot of thought. But I have not researched it extensively. I posted my info page before learning about the whole "my egg but your sperm" part of it all. And I have to say again...I couldn't do that, I just couldn't do it.

Lastly, for those of you that know me, you know that my intentions would not be based on a "financial gain". But knowing that someone cannot have a child breaks my heart after loving Will the way I do. What if I couldn't have conceived Will? What if a surrogate had carried him for me? What if a surrogate had carried your child for you? Would you not be greatful?

My baby is 3!

Last Monday, March 9th, my baby boy turned 3. I took Monday off to be with him, and we had such a wonderful day together. We slept in till 9am, then went to the Lady Lake Park, then to Chick-Fil-A, and later that evening we went to "Jump in Joey's" in Clermont. If you have never been there, I highly recommend it. It's basically an indoor bounce house. It's incredibly clean with a laid back atmosphere, and the staff was super friendly. Parents can sit back in the nice wicker furniture while their children play their hearts out. I'm sure it's packed on the weekends, so I recommend a week night. My little man was pooped when we got home!

This past Saturday (March 14) we actually celebrated Will's party at Lake Okahumpka Park. He had so much fun! We rented a bounce house for the kids, which was great! I tend to like the idea of a laid back party. Some mothers go all out and plan activities and games. Not me! I let the kids play while the adults enjoyed each others company. I just want the kids to be "free" and run and play as they wished. I may do games as Will gets older...

If you are reading this and you have a child Will's age, please do not get offended if I didn't invite you to his party. We basically had family, and a few friends. Will has 3 boys that he is very close to, so we invited those 3 along with their families. Other than that, it was all family. We really tried to stay around 30 people since we were feeding them. It's so easy to spend hundreds of dollars on a party! I'm sure you are all shaking your heads in agreement right now!

Before I show you party pictures, I have to take the time to tell you about Will's birthday cake! I was telling my friend (the one who made the cake) that I wanted a big #3 cake, and I wanted it red and black (Bulldog colors of course). While talking to her, Will says "Mommy I want a spongebob cake". I looked at my friend and said..."Okay so I was saying, I want a big #3 cake...." Later in the day, Will said (at least 3 times) that he wanted a spongebob cake. First of all, Will doesn't watch spongebob, has no clothing or toys with spongebob...yet he was insistent on a spongebob cake! So yes...he had a spongebob cake...but NO spongebob decorations I assure you! If you ever need a cake made, please let me know! My friend Robin doesn't even do this for a living! Her cake was a work of art, and tasted like heaven! Her prices are unbeatable, and I assure you, you will not be disappointed!